| Note to the New Edition |
|
ix | |
| Introduction: Navigating the Journey of Lesbian Parenting |
|
1 | (6) |
|
Section One: Our Lives as Lesbian Families |
|
|
7 | (160) |
|
We're Here to Stay: Our Unique Families |
|
|
9 | (10) |
|
What's It Like Being a Lesbian Family? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Strengths of Our Families |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Starting Out: Alternative Insemination, Foster-Parenting and Adoption |
|
|
19 | (22) |
|
Children---To Have or Not to Have? |
|
|
|
Pregnancy via Alternative Insemination |
|
|
|
An Insemination ``Prep Talk'' |
|
|
|
A Word About HIV and AIDS |
|
|
|
The Great Lesbian Sperm Chase |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Romancing the Syringe: At-Home Insemination |
|
|
|
Getting Pregnant the Old-Fashioned Way |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Crossing Ability, Cultural and Racial Lines |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How Do I Know If I Like Having Children in My Life? |
|
|
|
Branches on Our Family Tree: Partners, Fathers, Siblings and Others |
|
|
41 | (20) |
|
|
|
|
Beyond Our ``Job Descriptions'' |
|
|
|
Fathers and Other Men in Our Lives |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Donors: Anonymous or Known? |
|
|
|
Fathers via Chosen Family |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extended Family: From ``Goddess-Parents'' to Grandparents |
|
|
|
The Significance of Siblings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Coming Out to Our Children and Families |
|
|
61 | (25) |
|
Defining Our Terms: Coming Out, Heterosexism and Homophobia |
|
|
|
The Advantages of Coming Out to Our Children |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Risks of Coming Out to Our Children |
|
|
|
How to Come Out to Children |
|
|
|
``But What's a Lesbian?'': Coming Out to Young Children |
|
|
|
``What If She Hates Me?'': Considerations with Adolescents |
|
|
|
Coming Out to Adult Children |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Navigating in the World: Our Children's Issues |
|
|
|
Full Circle: Coming Out to Our Family of Origin |
|
|
|
When Lesbian Becomes Parent |
|
|
|
When Parent Becomes Lesbian |
|
|
|
Engaged Parenting: Communication and Conflict Resolution |
|
|
86 | (26) |
|
|
|
|
Listening So Children Will Talk |
|
|
|
Talking So Children Will Listen |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Resolving Conflicts Constructively |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Resolving Conflicts with Young Children |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Resolving Conflicts with Adolescents |
|
|
|
The Tradition of Family Meetings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Helping Our Children Through Loss and Divorce |
|
|
112 | (20) |
|
|
|
|
Supporting Your Child Through the Grieving Process |
|
|
|
Helping Your Child Face Death |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Navigating Divorce: The Challenges for Parents |
|
|
|
What Divorce Does to Kids: Short Term |
|
|
|
What Divorce Does to Kids: Long Term |
|
|
|
Telling Your Child About Divorce |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Confronting Racism and Building Rainbows |
|
|
132 | (21) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How Racism Affects Individuals |
|
|
|
How Racism Affects Families |
|
|
|
Thinking About Adoption and Race |
|
|
|
Living in an Interracial Adoptive Family |
|
|
|
``You Picked Me Out!'': How Children Perceive Race and Adoption |
|
|
|
Interracial Couples with Children |
|
|
|
Raising Bias-Free Children |
|
|
|
Building Self-Esteem and Positive Racial Identity |
|
|
|
Confronting Racist Comments |
|
|
|
When Your Child Practices Racism |
|
|
|
When Your Child Experiences Racism |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Celebrating Our Lives: New Family Traditions |
|
|
153 | (14) |
|
Reclaiming Rituals and Building Traditions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
LGBT Pride Holidays and Celebrations |
|
|
|
Spur-of-the-Moment Gatherings |
|
|
|
Birthdays and Rites of Passage |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Creating Your Family Traditions |
|
|
|
Section Two: Parenting Our Children as They Grow |
|
|
167 | (180) |
|
At the Very Beginning: Pregnancy and Childbirth |
|
|
169 | (17) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A Word for Adoptive Parents-to-Be |
|
|
|
Days in the Lives of Pregnant Lesbians |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Getting Quality Prenatal Care |
|
|
|
Birthing Issues for the Pregnant Mother |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Labor Preparation: From Birthing Classes to Popsicles |
|
|
|
Giving Birth at a Hospital |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Miscarriage and Stillbirth |
|
|
|
Your New Baby: The First Eighteen Months |
|
|
186 | (17) |
|
|
|
|
Newborn to Six Months: Pee, Poop, Tears ... and Smiles |
|
|
|
Six to Eighteen Months: Learning Through Movement |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Family and Friends: Help or Hindrance? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Parenting the Toddler: Eighteen Months to Thirty-Six Months |
|
|
203 | (17) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Gentle Art of Discipline |
|
|
|
She Said ... She Said: Being Consistent as a Couple |
|
|
|
Support Groups and Play Groups |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Emerging Child: Three to Six Years |
|
|
220 | (19) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Emotional/Social Development |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Structured Environments: Preschool and Kindergarten |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
International and Interracial Adoptions |
|
|
|
Time Out for Relationships |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Educating Your Extended Family |
|
|
|
Logic and Rules; Fairness and Morals: Six to Ten Years |
|
|
239 | (20) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rules and Moral Reasoning |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Values---Yours, Mine and Ours |
|
|
|
Vacations Without the Kids |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moving and Making Friends |
|
|
|
The Journey of Adolescence: Not Necessarily a Nightmare |
|
|
259 | (18) |
|
Four Myths About Adolescence |
|
|
|
Adolescent Development: An Overview |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Skills: Now You See Them, Now You Don't |
|
|
|
Raising Boys ... and Raising Girls |
|
|
|
The Damaging Messages Our Daughters Hear |
|
|
|
Putting Your Own Adolescence in Perspective |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shifting the Parenting Gears |
|
|
|
Engaged Parenting ... Adolescent-Style |
|
|
|
On the Road to Adulthood: Ten to Fourteen Years |
|
|
277 | (26) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Intellectual and Moral Development |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Separation and Independence |
|
|
|
School and Social Life: Get Involved or Steer Clear? |
|
|
|
Independence and Identity: Fourteen to Eighteen Years |
|
|
303 | (27) |
|
|
|
|
Intellectual and Moral Development |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Golden Age of Friendship |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Is Your Teen's Having a Job Good or Bad? |
|
|
|
Sex, Drugs and Rock `n' Roll |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Drug and Alcohol Problems |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stepping into New Roles: Our Adult Children |
|
|
330 | (17) |
|
|
|
|
Family Occasions: Fun or Fearful? |
|
|
|
Meeting Your Child's Partner |
|
|
|
The Challenge of Weddings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
347 | (5) |
|
|
|
352 | (9) |
|
A: Second-Parent Adoption |
|
|
352 | (2) |
|
B: Alternative Insemination and Infertility Workups |
|
|
354 | (4) |
|
C: Sample Parenting Agreement |
|
|
358 | (2) |
|
|
|
360 | (1) |
| Notes |
|
361 | (8) |
| General Bibliography |
|
369 | (17) |
| Selected Bibliography |
|
386 | (8) |
| Index |
|
394 | (8) |
| Acknowledgments |
|
402 | (3) |
| About the Authors |
|
405 | |